We finally began to go on coffee breaks alone in office..not
because of the coffee craving but because we wanted to meet more
often. Taking walk downstairs in lunch time, going on drive.. It was
all a lot of fun and a great feeling too. I began to gather more
emotions to him. He was so amazing. I loved the advice he used to
give me and his postie attitude about almost everything. I felt
positivity all around. I cherished every word of wisdom he gave to
me. He was became my idol my mentor. He was so amazing.
He was so amazing. I wanted to tell him how I felt but I could
not, I was only trying to control my feeling as I knew that we have
no future.. as I have made commitments with someone else and I can not take my words back. I wanted to tell him how much I cared about
him and liked him. But oddly the word 'like' was always a hard word
for me to say to him, and still to this day I wonder if it was
because I always 'loved' him... never 'liked' him.
I became attached to his favorite
singer music, saw life in a different light, thought of love in a
different way. I always kept him near my heart. He was just special.
There was no way to describe my feelings for him, I just always
thought he was an amazing friend. I never thought of our friendship
becoming anything more, although at times I did want him to be my
boyfriend. I thought he would be the perfect boyfriend, husband,
father, everything. He was just amazing. But I never said anything. I
was afraid it would change our friendship, which I loved dearly.The feeling that I had when I was with
him was just indescribable. It felt like I just knew there was
something more, there. And it felt like he knew it too.
I had always Andy him more than a
friend, and it seemed like he did too. He always made eye contact
with me, and he really listened to everything I had to say..
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